Directed by Dorian Walker (1989)

The wikipedia entry for Teen Witch reveals the shocking truth that the teenager musical was a box office bomb grossing less than $4000 in its opening weekend with a budget of two and a half million! Of course, with repeated airings on cable and midnight shows (at one of which friend John got to actually dance with Robin Lively!) it’s become the cult classic that we know and love.

I recently revisited the innocuous favorite which is more than perfect for Sunday afternoon viewing and found it just as silly, strange, and dumbly enjoyable as I remembered.

From the opening shots of Louise Miller gyrating to Taylor Dane style pop with the local hottie, Brad to the final scenes of Louise Miller gyrating to Taylor Dane style pop with the local hottie, Brad, the movie is an 80’s Disney Channel esque delight. Not surprisingly, Disney actress Ashley Tisdale is in talks to star in a remake.

Of course, I’d be shocked if they kept the hilarious musical numbers as is (including  “I Like Boys” and the often referenced – recently in 30 Rock – “Top That Rap“) and while Teen Witch is definitely not racy stuff, that beginning gyrating scene does feature star Robin Lively looking like a prostitute in red lace and what would be more shocking these days, she totally gives it up in an abandoned house to Brad without scruples.

Trust me, after just having watched Starstruck (yes, this is the kind of guilty pleasure viewing I do when no one is looking) where the two young actors barely even kiss, implied going all the way will never make it in the remake.

But I digress on the supposed remake and there’s so much to say about the original. Many things can be said in the stills below/after the jump but worth noting is the bizarre brother creature, Richie, played by the same intriguing young strange actor you may recognize from the very un-Teen Witch movie River’s Edge, the wonderful Zelda Rubenstein as a fellow witch, the surprisingly so-uncool-they’re-cool again fashions, and of course those cringe inducing, but oh so awesome musical numbers.

It has not been available on DVD always, but can be rented at Netflix though sometimes with a long wait, so people are still flocking to this cheesy nostalgia piece. If you never knew the glories of it growing up, don’t expect a traditionally “good” movie, with suspense or drama, just go with flow and you’ll find there’s very little in the pre-teen comedy genre that tops it.

Oh, and if you too want to be a Teen Witch, it’s now possible with this nifty kit.

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Posted on June 20, 2010

by Bananarama (1983)

I never associate the Bananarama hit Cruel Summer with The Karate Kid, but it was the movie that put the song on the top ten. Not sure why the video for the lonely heartbroken pop song was about the girls working at a mechanics garage until the coppers chase them down, but it sure makes for early eighties, naive music video fun. Relive it just in time for your own, hopefully less cruel summer days.

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Posted on May 31, 2010

directed by Tim Burton (1988)

I have seen the Tim Burton comedy Beetlejuice so very many times as a kid that I was a little reluctant to re-watch it at Jim’s request, but the surreal, lighthearted darkness was exactly what I didn’t even know I was in the mood for. Among many achievements, including memorable and clever makeup, effects, costumes (love Lydia’s black head wear and the glove headband) and set design, this boasts a great cast including Noni’s best role yet as a goth teen. Jefferey Jone and Catharine O’Hara, who are really always excellent don’t break the streak here and Geena Davis is likable and goofy while Alec Baldwin is almost unrecognizably earnest and fresh faced as a loving couple that finds themselves recently deceased (and remind me of soon to be married friends Luke and Ashleigh). Michael Keaton, in an unexpected role, is the gross out Beetlejuice, who so easily could have become an unbearable character and yet is a classic. It’s a strange feat, but not quite as strange as the animated series that spun off in 89 that was an inexplicable hit.

It’s one of Burton’s very best (behind only Peewee’s Big Adventure and Ed Wood in my assessment) and it makes me wonder, after painfully sitting through the wildly disappointing Alice in Wonderland (or as another disappointed friend eloquently called it Alice in Buttholeland), what exactly happened to him? Is it the large budgets getting in the way? An ego from a lifetime of success and fame? Is the problem that he isn’t writing his own material? Does Johnny Depp or Helena Bonham Carter have some malicious power over his skills? I wish someone could get to the bottom of it, because I’d love to see him making a movie that brings together his unique vision, an endearing plot and just plain likability together as successfully as Beetlejuice again.

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Posted on May 16, 2010

by The Smiths (1986)

The Smiths are the kind of band that elicits such tenacious adoration and devotion from it’s fans and that love is something you either get or you don’t. For those that like me get it, you only have to hear a refrain:

“I’ve got the twenty first century breathing down my neck”,

“Oh mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head…”,

“A dreaded sunny day..”,

“And now I know how Joan of Arc felt…”,

“Take me out tonight.”,

“From the ice age to the dole age there is but one concern…”

to be transported to an emotional state that’s frankly (Mr Shankly) hard to describe. There’s part longing, part sentiment, part defiance, part arrogance, part romance and part glorious despair in their music. All the songs quoted above, which are so ingrained in certain children of the 80s, and were personally such a part of my adolescence are found on The Queen is Dead. It’s an undeniably impressive track listing of catchy, unrepeated (because really, who since has the same sound and dynamics as the Smiths?) pop musical wonderment. It’s one of the few listening experiences that actually make the pain and complexity of adolescence sound appealing and dignified. It’s really hitting the spot lately.

If you missed out on the Smiths so far, and want to get on board, well you could really start with any album as they’re all phenomenal, but many find this to be their best total effort.

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Posted on May 16, 2010

directed by Ross McElwee (1986)

Ross McElwee’s 80’s classic documentary, Sherman’s March, is from a clearly pre-realty show time, where the interview subjects are unconcerned with the end result of their musings and are completely unbridled when discussing everything from cellulite exercises, Tarzan fantasies, plans for finding love with Burt Reynolds, fanny tucks, and isolationist militia goals. In many ways, the movies is the greatest fumble, or at least derailed intention put to film. Originally planning to follow the path of the infamously brutal march of General William Tecumseh Sherman through the South during the Civil War which left the land and its people completely devastated. Instead, McElwee meets and falls haplessly infatuated with a succession of unusual Southern women.

It’s a very personal documentary and that can often, almost always be tough to pull off without seeming navel gazing and obnoxiously self absorbed. This moving sometimes toes the line but manages to remain absorbing because of the ease and comfort of it all: whether pontificating on the horrors of war, or wondering why his relationships have failed. He manages to capture quiet magical scenes of real life in all it’s strangeness without ever seeming forced or boring (even at a long, very meandering run time of over two and a half hours).

It took years for the excellent Grey Gardens to gain popular with the educated movie loving masses (I know I pushed it on people for years) and I hope this quirky gem is next on the list.

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Posted on April 25, 2010