Spend a Couple Hours »Brooklyn Bowl (Worst Way to Spend a Couple Hours)

Brooklyn BowlIt's really unlike me (and admittedly unfair) to condemn a place that I have not been to myself, but the aura surrounding Brooklyn Bowl leaves me uneasy. Actual threatening and muscle-bound door men, velvet ropes, a line of parked Escalades with yellow license plates crowding Wyeth, overpriced bowling and shoe rental and all the hype surrounding its long awaited opening deliver a singular message to us locals: this place is not for you, it's for assholes that read about it on Urban Daddy.

Even a sure to be excellent menu from the people of Blue Ribbon has yet to get me past the idea of a velvet rope… but a friend of ours did attend a recent DJ Spooky iPhone App Launch Party; let me repeat that: a DJ Spooky iPhone App Launch Party.

Some day I might bring myself to try the place out, all prejudices aside during their happy hour, and if, at that time, I find out that I'm wrong and the place is a secret shining destination of non-obnoxious good times, I promise to write a glowing review and apologize.

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Posted on November 9, 2009

Drinks »The Charleston (Worst Drink)

You guys know I'm always there to defend a hipster; that's not the source of my beef with The Charleston. It's just become such a terrible scene to run smack into on your way out of the subway – like an underage pocket of Austin's grody 6th Street. It defines the new obnoxious, oblivious, street-side drunkenness that gives the younger generation such a bad name.

I've even been coerced into going inside once by a friend we ran into on the street, and what CitySearch has erroneously called “vastly charming” is actually vastly disgusting, with some of the most heinously unkempt and overflowing toilets I have ever been privy to (pun intended) in my life… But that's the downside of offering free pizza to drunk children, I suppose.

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Posted on November 9, 2009

Desserts »Penny Licks (Worst Dessert)

How could I resist this ice cream cone cupcake from Penny Licks? It's adorable. But, it was also terrible. Every part of it, even the sprinkles, tasted old and stale and flavorless. It was unconscionable.

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Posted on November 9, 2009

Restaurants »La Bella Mariella II (Worst Restaurant)

This is a truly heartbreaking story. Once, not too long ago, a miraculous thing happened – an ugly menu for a pizza joint called Vinnie Vella's (adorned with an illustration that practically begged for low expectations) arrived on our doorstep and, surprisingly enough, their 'Grandma's Pie' (fresh ingredients atop a perfectly thin/thick crust) turned out to be absolutely delicious. Furthermore, VV's actually delivered to our neighborhood (I'll never forgive you for forsaking Greenpoint, Fornino).

Then one day we called up (the number was actually in Jim's phone – no longer) and ordered the usual. The place had a different name, but they assured us the menu was the same; we had no idea to what degree our lives were about the change for the worse. The delivery was late, we were starving, but what was in the box – ugh – we couldn't even bring ourselves to try more than half a slice each.

Nice job La Bella Mariella II, you ruined a beautiful thing with your gloppy cheap cheese and overly sweet canned tomato sauce you try to pass off as belonging on a pizza (PS: the photos on their site are totally inaccurate). I'm truly ashamed to admit it, but we actually threw away almost an entire pizza.

You will never be forgiven and I hope you perish the way of Better Fellas (the short lived shop that set up in the same location between Vinnie Vella's and Bella Mariella II).

Souen is really lucky, by the way, that I was so crushed by this pizza shop debacle and spared them the wrath of a lengthy tirade because their vegan dirt food made me sad while I was eating it and mad to be paying obscene amounts for it.

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Posted on November 9, 2009

Spend a Couple Minutes »The Salvation Army on Bedford (Worst Way to Spend a Couple Minutes)

Salvation Army on Bedford AveThe organization itself is a grand one – both for the people it helps and the affordable treasures one can find there. However, the particular location right off the Bedford Avenue L train leaves something to be desired. I donated bags and bags full of clothing and books when we moved to our new apartment, but a more recent incident leads me to want to admonish anyone considering making a purchase from this particular branch.

It was a crisp autumn evening and it was unusual to see so many people crowded outside the front window of the shuttered shop. Curious as to what they were looking at, we wedged ourselves in to have a look. What did we see? A huge pack of huge rats rummaging through a pile of clothes pressed up against the other side of the glass. It was some serious Stephen King stuff and still makes me shiver to think of it.

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Posted on November 9, 2009

Spend a Couple Minutes »Marlow and Daughters (Best Way to Spend a Couple Minutes)

marlow and daughters beef This is what I said on March 23rd:

The people behind Marlow and Sons, one of Brooklyn's finest restaurants, have opened a wonderful butcher shop just up the block called Marlow and Daughters. I've been meaning to pay the meat paradise a visit since it opened (much to the delight of carnivorous food bloggers) back in December, but I didn't get around to it until a recent sunny afternoon.

The shop was clean and bright and shone like a freshly painted dream for red meat lovers; an array of meaty delights awaited us and even a goat's head peeked out from beneath the glass.

Facing down unfamiliar cuts of meat in a bustling shop can be an usual and admittedly intimidating experience for sure, but don't hesitate to ask questions, the staff seem to enjoy assisting customers. One sunnily dispositioned butcher was particularly helpful, walking us through our options and even offering useful preparation tips.

On his recommendation, we went home with a honking bone-in prime rib type thing called The Last Boy Scout that reminded me of something out of the Flintstones. It was cheaper than a prime rib because of the large bone that ran though its center, which made it a little tough to carve after cooking; fortunately no one was around to witness the rough around the edges results of our unpracticed meat carving skills.

The meat itself was tender and terrific and lots of people will be excited to learn that shop only serves local, grass fed and sustainable foods. I hope to make Marlow and Daughters a staple in my epicurean life, especially since they specialize in rare cuts and meats that can be hard – nay, impossible — to find in a traditional grocery store. Sure, the price is a bit higher than what you might be used to paying at C-Town, but it's still cheaper than eating out, right?

Aside from the meat, the shop also offers a selection of fine foods like olives, spreads and tarragon mustard (which I bought and love – I happen to be a tarragon fiend). I'm also planning on trying some of their delicious looking cured meats on an upcoming visit, of which there will be many.

RUNNERS UP:
Cassie Mercantile and Story
Polish Poster Exhibit
Turban Time
Eiffel Tower
Greenpoint Food Market
Bare Esscentuals

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Posted on November 2, 2009

Desserts »Blue Stove (Best Dessert)

blue stove mini pies

This is what I wrote back on March 23rd:

Just next door to Fanny is Blue Stove, a bright and airy bakery run by a friend of a friend (a lovely slave to the stove named Rachel) offering an array of home baked pies in unique and classic flavors like pecan (with an excellent sweet cream topping), cherry, key lime, and blackberry mousse. Just like Fanny, it's situation in a slightly less traveled section of Williamsburg makes it feel more like a secret spot frequented by in-the-know locals rather than a passing trend.

There's no static menu, you're limited to ordering only what has sparked the baker's fancy, but I can promise (now having sampled three little pies, which was the perfect amount for a four guest dinner party) that everything is absolutely top notch. Before the bakery moved in to this adorable space with its a peekaboo pantry, black and white tile floors, beautifully aged pressed tin, and homemade welcome sign, the baker would take orders and deliver pies to those with a sweet tooth for fresh baked goods, building up a quite a reputation among those who prefer their pies without a lot of artificial junk.

We loved the pies we grabbed to go, but there's an array of large tables should you prefer your sweet to stay with a cup of coffee or tea.

RUNNERS UP:
Calpis Ice Bar
Momofuku Cookies
Ronnybrook Ice Cream
Ralph's Italian Ice
Brent Beer Brittle
Raspberry Buttercream Cake

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Posted on November 2, 2009

Spend a Couple Minutes »Fille de Joie

Late one recent Friday night I got a photo sent to me of a MEnniquin, a long haired, turbaned, vintage clad mannequin that bore a strange and strong resemblance to me, style-wise. I was intrigued for sure, but I really took notice when I noticed there was a wild cat hanging from her neck. I found out where the store was located and went the very next day. The lady felt even more like me in the light of day and we were all a little taken aback, but her wonderful wooden necklace was still there, ready for me to buy.

The shop is Fille de Joie, and while the place is a tad on the pricey side, it's really well styled and the pieces are pretty fantastic. If I had had a pile of cash burning in a hole in my pocket I could have easily walked out with a new wing to my wardrobe. A black cornered hat is still eating at my mind.

P.S. Don't let the awkward cougar window dance featured on their website turn you off too much from visiting.

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Posted on October 19, 2009

Restaurants »Mercat Negre

It's a rare thing when you can feast and graze for three hours at a restaurant and still enjoy full, helpful and cheery cooperation from the staff. Mercat in the city has always been a favorite spot with myself and friends for such a purpose on birthdays and other special occasions, and the new Mercat Negre Williamsburg location was ideal to celebrate a dear friend's recent visit to the city since moving to LA several months ago. Everything from the drinks to the dessert was great – you can't go wrong ordering – but I'll help?you out with some absolute must haves.

Begin with an array of empanadas, croquettes, and bombas, follow with the fried potatoes with alioli (which are far better than the ones we tried when the Manhattan location first opened), make sure to get the?cod entr?e, the sardines on bread, and please – for your own sake and happiness, do not skip the paella with duck and sausage. It is indescribably delicious – we were scraping the bottom of the dish like starving children.

As for drinks, Death in Spain and Ward Eight were table favorites and we were split on deciding the best dessert – I was crazy about the lemon frappe, that was like the top of a lemon meringue pie but frothier, but there was a lot of support for the toasted bread with chocolate, olive oil & salt.

The location is fairly new, and it works in your favor to get a reservation. It was pretty quiet, even on a Saturday. I hope it stays in business with word of mouth, but I'd hate to forfeit the relative calm of the place and the ease of getting a reservation.

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Posted on October 19, 2009

Restaurants »An Nhau

Already a huge fan of the delicious, cheap and impressively efficient bahn mi shop, I was optimistic about the owners' expansion project; the full menued An Nhau next door. The fairly new addition to the Williamsburg dining scene has not disappointed. One meal we enjoyed a warm eggs and pork belly in broth dish that was perfect for sharing on cooler nights and a fresh shrimp vermicelli. Last night, we split a chicken vermicelli and a nice, tender shaken beef dish, cooked perfectly medium rare as requested.

It not only is a convenient place to eat but it's one of the most friendly meals your likely to have. Everyone seems so truly happy to be working there and to have you as their guest. They're awaiting a liquor license, but in the mean time this is a wonderful spot to enjoy a great non-alcohol fueled meal with an almost completely excellent menu of unique items not found in your run of the mill Vietnamese clone (the only thing we haven't been wild about are the fried spring rolls).

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Posted on October 12, 2009