30 Day Song Challenge – Day One: Best Song to Choreograph Your Chippendale Audition To:
So Many Men, So Little Time By Miquel Brown (1983)


30 Day Song Challenge – Day One: Best Song to Choreograph Your Chippendale Audition To:
So Many Men, So Little Time By Miquel Brown (1983)


directed by Bertrand Tavernier (1981)If nihilists believed in heroes then Lucien, the small town sheriff in Coup de Torchon could be the man for them. He comes by way of Jim Thompson, darkest noirest extraordinaire and his novel, Pop. 1280. That book is set in 1917 Texas but the movie is cleverly moved to 1930s West French Africa, Senegal.
I haven’t read the book to compare it to (though it’s definitely making my list), but I think director Bertrand Tavernier has captured the weird, almost surreal darkness of Thompson’s work most effectively on film. (P.S. – other notable adaptations: Serie Noir, After Dark My Sweet).
To say Lucien is disrespected is an understatement. He’s called ass licker and turd more than by name, he is kicked by other policemen, pushed around by the local pimps, mocked by his own wife – and for good reason. As a policemen he never arrests anyone and ignores crime as much as possible, even when own mistress is being abused publicly.
He seems to initially be a gentle and simple sort who detests violence and has more respect for natives than most. Which is why you are almost on his side when he begins to take action against the “trash” of the city by committing righteous murder.
But, as the film progresses and his motives become less about justice than his selfishness, any semblance of morality is blown. Played with just right amount of pathos and underlying insanity by Philippe Noiret, the sheriff, if I had to imagine him cast today, could be pulled off by a bitter little Patton Oswald and his unassuming baby face.
Scrounging around in the mud of human depravity with him are his scheming wife played by the always amazing Stephane Audran, her “brother”/secret lover – a half witted brute (I’d cast John C Rielly in my remake), his mistress, Rose, a piece of amoral work with a naive lust for violence and chaos played by the also always amazing Isabelle Huppert.
The cast is astounding, turning almost cartoonish physical comedy into something dimensional. Not that it’s cartoonish due to sloppy film making, quite the opposite, Tavernier manages the tough balance of darkest comedy only to reveal something very sinister.
The totally bizarre alternate ending, featuring dancing man apes, is worth a look on the Criterion Collection release. The only way this low profile masterpiece could have better is if it had stayed in.

Click here for the rest of Coup de Torchon
by Charles Bukowski (1982)There is a great tradition in American literature of tough men telling masturbation soaked tales of youthful losers. I can’t say it’s my go-to source for reading, which is probably why Ham on Rye has sat on my book shelves for over a decade. I bought it in my high school years, exactly the right time to want to be into Bukowski. But I never was.
I wondered how his coarse, depressing stuff would read with an older me – and have a loose resolution to watch, read, and listen to artists I’ve never experienced but am curious about. I started with Tom Wolfe (big success) and Bukowski was right next to him on the shelf.
Like other rough and manly men of the written word, his writing is to the point. it’s sparse but still conveys a very vivid picture. The picture Ham and Rye shows is this: it sucked to be Charles Bukowski as a kid, or I should say, Hank Chinaski, his semi autobiographical anti-hero. If anyone asked him why he drank, he could probably just plop this book down on the table.
One almost expects this portrait of a young man, forced to the outside fringes of society to end with a mass murder perpetrated by the shunned, horny misanthrope rather than a penny arcade defeat. But true to Bukowski’s negative eye on the world – things end more poignantly with a whimper.
I was surprised to enjoy this book (well, enjoy is maybe too joyful a word). Though I do have a weird knack for reading bleak stuff when it’s at odds with my life (Miss Lonelyhearts before I got married, this one as Van sleeps peacefully next to me).

by Tom Wolfe (1987)There are people who know how to tell a story and those who don’t. Tom Wolfe can tell a story. With an ear for dialogue, a sharp eye for details, and an almost tabloid journalism joy for exposing and wallowing in the character’s flaws, in his first fictional novel, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Wolfe is wry, smart and highly entertaining.
Little wonder that it was a national best seller that spawned a (reportedly terrible and definitely miscast) star studded movie.
The writing is Dickens by way of Richard Price. In less deft hands, lacking the dark sense of humor, this could have been a self riteous bore, but it’s crisp, witty and makes me want to read more from the well dressed icon.
Set in the mid 80’s Bonfire is the story of one Sherman McCoy, a Wall Street millionaire who ends up embroiled in scandal when he and his mistress commit hit and run while lost in the streets of the Bronx. Race, class warfare, politics, greed, and yellow journalism all play their part in this epic story.

directed by Mira NairHysterical Blindness, a 1980’s set HBO version of a Lifetime movie could have been nothing but hairspray and bad accents, but to every one’s credit involved, it’s a surprisingly nuanced, and touching portrayal of two party girls past their prime, standing guard at a local dive bar, waiting desperately for romance to change their Bayonne, New Jersey lives.
Uma Thurman is transforming as Debby, a character interestingly enough portrayed by the great Amy Ryan in the original 1997 Laura Cahill theatrical production. She contorts her exceptional beauty into a woman so needy and spastic that you wince as she awkwardly rockets around the screen between cigarettes, tears, freak outs and blow jobs. Juliette Lewis, Gena Rowlands, and Ben Gazzara all of whom are always, without exception, excellent round out the dream cast.
While it all ends a little too much on the cute side, it’s nice to see these women, icons of ironic tackiness and stereotype get a little happiness, whether in the form of new living room furniture or front yard parties all summer. And speaking of ironic tackiness, there is much here for thrift store shopping hipsters to get excited about: Shredded heavy metal tees, acid washed paint on jeans, spandex mini skirts, and lots of cheap rings.
I saw this when it first aired several years ago but recently felt the urge to revisit. I’m glad I did.

Click here for the rest of Hysterical Blindness
by Sheena Easton (1984)Sugar Walls is gloriously dirty in its sexual connotations (Temperatures rise inside my sugar walls).
Of course it was written by the king of such things, Prince – but what I and maybe you didn’t know is that he wrote it under the amazing pseudonym “Alexander Nevermind”!! Genius.
by Tom Waits (1988)Seeing Tom Waits live is like the Holy Grail for me. After a couple years of fulfilling my live in concert dreams (Lindsey Buckingham, Fleetwood Mac, Britney Spears, Nick Cave, Grace Jones, and R. Kelly) he’s the only big one left. It’s a rare occurrence, with the last tour being a couple years ago. Fortunately for all of us, his previous concert film, Big Time is available to stream from netflix even as DVDs are difficult to track down.
Theatrical with a German expressionist meets vaudeville vibe, it’s a joy to watch, especially for long time fans. Waits performs some of my favorite songs from Rain Dogs, Frank’s Wild Years and Swordfishtrombones and charms the audience with piano side monologues about pregnancy, erotica, and strip clubs.
His wife Kathleen Brennan, who sparked Waits’ gravely, strange and fantastic turn by introducing him to Captain Beefheart was the co-creative behind this performance.
The album, which was released after the video, is a great listen even with out the visual accompaniment.

Click here for the rest of Big Time
by Roy Orbison (1963) and Linda Ronstadt (1977)Still on a Roy Orbison kick, I thought I’d recommend his most beautiful song, Blue Bayou. Also recorded wonderfully by the lovely Linda Ronstadt, it’s a sentemental song and one of the prettiest I can call to mind. In fact, it ranks high in my favorites of all time, so it surprises me I’ve not recommended it here before.
As winter begins to nip at us, one can relate to dreaming of someplace with fishing boats and familiar sunrises. By the way, it does not refer to the Louisiana Water Park (though it would shake my whole reading of the song if it was) nor the Disney restaurant.
by Riz Ortolani (1980)I’ve yet to see the movie Cannibal Holocaust (I know, I know, it’s a exploitation classic) but even without firsthand knowledge, this is certainly not the soundtrack I expected from it. Featuring amazing song titles like Adultresses’ Punishment – which sounds like Hammer style dread in outer space, Cameraman’s Recreation – a groovy porny song that leads into a childlike romp, the video game sounding Massacre of the Troupe, and the surprisingly melodic and catchy theme, it’s more than a mere novelty but something quite listenable, unique and enjoyable.
True, at times it treads close to calls to mind muzak from the seventies (see Drinking Coco) – which in turn calls to mind the kind of wall paper that use to have bits of mirrored gold in it – something from my childhood perhaps – I think ice cream was involved… but I digress.
Overall though, this album is so much more interesting and nice to listen to than it needed to be. I mean, it’s a soundtrack for a film that caused outrage over its killing of actual animals on screen which was banned in many countries for indecency and extreme gore. And yet, I have been playing the soundtrack for my baby for days.
All the praise for the music goes to Riz Ortolani, a composer of mostly b-movies and genres flicks who obviously put his heart into even the most unusual of jobs. I have friend and weird movie connoisseur Matthew to thank for this soundtrack making the rounds in my iphone. Several others have been released and I am sure I’ve be writing about them soon enough.
by Europe (1986)This airbrushed cover of The Final Countdown, Swedish hair band Europe‘s mega hit is enough to make anyone love it. I’ve been humming the song all day as we’ve been taking a stroll through the first season on Arrested Development. The song accompanies Gob’s magic acts.