While Tubthumping was the first song that came to mind for this list, a ton of other songs kept springing up in their atrociousness.

We Built This City, for example, which ranked top in the worst albums of all time by Blender Magazine, which is always played in the bar under my apartment was a very close second.

But I am sticking with the annoyingly contagious nineties hit by Chumbawamba that grates my brain.

I have had several friends say there is a “blue” song out there that rivals Tubthumping for dance music garbage, but I have been spared ever having to have heard it.

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Posted on November 13, 2006

Monster Mash was always the kick-off of the official Halloween party time during my young school days, signifying that the time for learning was over and the time for my favorite day of the year was beginning. Why they thought we could learn anything with the knowledge that costumes – usually a punk for me – and candy, candy candy, waited for us, I'll never know.

Jim and I still play this Bobby “Boris” Pickett and the Cryptkickers hit every year for the ghoulish holiday and even when the mood strikes us at other times in the year. Although that's a little bit like playing the wedding march in preparation for taking a shower–it just doesn't work the same magic.

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Posted on October 30, 2006

I have been in love with this song since I bought the single in Jr. High and even then I was royally disappointed by the look of the band. Clearly, these dudes are not cool, even the band in Lost Boys was more respectable, and yet this song is cool–way cool.

It also became a mystery, I knew it was from a movie at some point, but which one? I thought Valley Girl, perhaps. Wrong – it is from the movie I was obsessed with for a long time – Nightmare on Elm St. 4 – The Dream Master . You know, the one with Alice, who starts meek but ends up doing nunchucks; the one with her totally fine brother who has to fight an invisible Freddy in a Steven Seagal worthy set and ends up a meatball on Freddy's pizza; the one with the brainiac girl with asthma; the one with the girl who works out to Sinead O'Connor's “Put Your Hands On Me” only the be turned in a roach at Freddy's Roach Motel; the one that starts with Kincaid's death in the car junkyard…. Yes, that one! See I can remember nearly every frame, but couldn't remember that this, one of my very favorites, was in it. Oh, for shame, Brittany.

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Posted on October 16, 2006

99 Luft Ballons is a nostalgic one-hit from the early eighties that I was a huge fan of as a child–a child unaware of its political themes (in the lyrics, the 99 red balloons are mistaken for an enemy plane and start World War 3). The German language version is the better one.

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Posted on October 2, 2006

Now, I don't make a habit out of praising Van Halen, and I down right despise their music after DLR's exit and the Red Rocker's reign… but Hot For Teacher is an exceptional exception.

With its sweet riffs and drums, this song is truly rocking in that cocky 80s way that we all know and love. And who can forget the video? It's still one of the greatest, with its celebration of adolescent sexual frustration and fantasy.

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Posted on September 18, 2006